The self-doubt started early on Friday, I tucked into my usual spot in the campus learning center and thought I would pump out my paper for the week in my typical few hours and be ready to go for the weekend. But this time was much different. This was my first homework in my new program and the first IT related homework I've done in probably a decade. I stared at the screen for hours trying to come up with a good case study topic for IT project management only to abandon it to take my Mom to the airport. After that task was complete, I sat down to try again and failed miserably a second time before finally calling it quits to go to the new Captain America move with Jenn and her son. I woke up early Saturday and stared at the screen for a while longer before deciding it was time to go for a drive to clear my head.
Driving to think is kind of like my metaphorical vestigial tail left over from my days of growing up in North Dakota. I think most small town kids can relate to the concept of dragging main (driving up and down the same street over and over again) and for me it wasn't just a boredom thing. It was a time of reflection. To this day, I haven't really found anything to replicate it. My apologies to my environmentalist friends, but sometimes I just have to burn through some gas. Finally, after about an hour of aimless driving, I realized I needed to shed the self-doubt. Even thought I'm not a programmer or software developer I can bring something of value to the paper. With the writer's block and self-doubt broken, the paper practically wrote itself. This also led me to another conclusion, it is possible for me to write about pretty much anything, as long as I approach it from an outside consultant perspective. Be on the look out for my new website Roguish Advice later this month. My first article will be about parenting from the guy with no kids.
With the homework situation squared away it was on to phase 2 of the weekend, helping my girlfriend move. This was certainly a new experience for me because I've never had to help someone I cared so much about go through that process. Moving has always been related to sad feelings in my mind. I think that's because every great TV show finale seems to involve moving or leaving something behind. There's always that last scene when the characters close the door on their apartment, house, or in the case of my favorite finale bar (Cheers) and then it fades to black. I think of that every time I leave a place I know I'll probably never come back to, even campsites lately. It's just a sad feeling! It's been tough watching Jenn go through this process because she has more memories in that house than I've ever had in a place I've lived. I cannot imagine the difficulty of leaving behind the place she has watched her children grow up in. This is where the really new thing comes in for me. For the first time in my life, I care deeply enough about someone to want to be there even when she doesn't ask to provide support and be a shoulder to cry on.
Okay, enough of the really sad stuff. Let's talk feminine waxing! The new territory here is that I've made it deep enough into a relationship to ask questions you just don't ask when you're in things for only a few months. This truly was my favorite part of the weekend. It came at a moment of high stress. I knew things were starting to take toll on Jenn, so I did my best to get her mind off of it by having her over to have lunch. After eating we laid around and just talked about anything that came to our minds. I love these moments so much because my comfort level gets so high. Finally, the question came to my mind "what do women talk about when they are getting waxed?" and "Are there ever male waxers?" For the guys out there who have never had the chance to ask these questions the answers are "every day things, weather, occupation, etc" and "No". This got me thinking about how hilarious this same situation would be if guys had to go through it. Would we talk to our male waxer about sports, the weather, or the news with our feet up in the air?! If SNL hasn't done a sketch of this yet, they really need to.
All joking aside, these are the moments I love. The moments when I can lay next to her saying whatever stupid thing comes to my mind in hopes that it will make her laugh. The fact that she never gets mad about it and that occasional embarrassed giggle when I hit just the right amount of inappropriateness. I'm so glad I've come to know that giggle. It will be another one of those memories I hope I never forget.
With the homework situation squared away it was on to phase 2 of the weekend, helping my girlfriend move. This was certainly a new experience for me because I've never had to help someone I cared so much about go through that process. Moving has always been related to sad feelings in my mind. I think that's because every great TV show finale seems to involve moving or leaving something behind. There's always that last scene when the characters close the door on their apartment, house, or in the case of my favorite finale bar (Cheers) and then it fades to black. I think of that every time I leave a place I know I'll probably never come back to, even campsites lately. It's just a sad feeling! It's been tough watching Jenn go through this process because she has more memories in that house than I've ever had in a place I've lived. I cannot imagine the difficulty of leaving behind the place she has watched her children grow up in. This is where the really new thing comes in for me. For the first time in my life, I care deeply enough about someone to want to be there even when she doesn't ask to provide support and be a shoulder to cry on.
Okay, enough of the really sad stuff. Let's talk feminine waxing! The new territory here is that I've made it deep enough into a relationship to ask questions you just don't ask when you're in things for only a few months. This truly was my favorite part of the weekend. It came at a moment of high stress. I knew things were starting to take toll on Jenn, so I did my best to get her mind off of it by having her over to have lunch. After eating we laid around and just talked about anything that came to our minds. I love these moments so much because my comfort level gets so high. Finally, the question came to my mind "what do women talk about when they are getting waxed?" and "Are there ever male waxers?" For the guys out there who have never had the chance to ask these questions the answers are "every day things, weather, occupation, etc" and "No". This got me thinking about how hilarious this same situation would be if guys had to go through it. Would we talk to our male waxer about sports, the weather, or the news with our feet up in the air?! If SNL hasn't done a sketch of this yet, they really need to.
All joking aside, these are the moments I love. The moments when I can lay next to her saying whatever stupid thing comes to my mind in hopes that it will make her laugh. The fact that she never gets mad about it and that occasional embarrassed giggle when I hit just the right amount of inappropriateness. I'm so glad I've come to know that giggle. It will be another one of those memories I hope I never forget.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.